Dear Melvin - Day 1

Hi. No, that’s not right.

Dear Diary,

Ew no that’s disgusting

Whatever, who cares.

So, this is really dumb. I’m just going to explain this first, even though you don’t care because you’re just a bunch of 1s and 0s in a hunk of plastic and metal.

It’s the first day of sophomore year in this school and I already want to murder three of my teachers. Sure, they say you can correct them when it comes to your name, but when you do it is rude and you shouldn’t do it again. I guess I’m going by V in this school.

Anyways, it’s already been a terrible first day at this school, and I’m in my last class of the day, English. I’m sitting there, waiting for the class to start so it can end so I can go home and eat samosas, when the teacher walks in. Mrs. Albright is this, like, forty year old white lady with bright green hair, so of course I immediately assume this will be interesting.

Then she goes and assigns the most overdone assignment ever. We’re supposed to keep a daily journal. Now, supposedly she isn’t going to read these, but who could resist reading the deepest, darkest, innermost secrets of 30+ teenagers? I certainly wouldn’t. I’m just waiting for her to insist we share these Google docs with her.

We’re supposed to spend the entire class writing in here today, so I guess that’s what I’ll do. Everyone else seems surprisingly focused…

Let’s name you. Felicia? I would enjoy getting to say Bye Felicia at the end of every entry, but I suppose that would get tiring soon.

Gary? Nah, you don’t seem like a Gary.

Oh, I know, Janine. No, J for Janine, J for Journal, that’s a little on the nose.

What about,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Melvin. Melvin. Melvin. Melvin. Melvin. Yes, I rather like that.

Alright Melvin, my name is Varadha Rajak. It’s nice to meet you. Oh, the bell is about to ring. I spent too much time naming you I think.

Bye Melvin.